Single Parent of the McKs, say what???

So where to begin with the meat and potatoes?? If you know me and have read the caption of the blog (prior to the blog makeover I am going to do thanks to Rhonda) it says "The life of a single mom and her adorable McK kids." In case you are wondering about the title, my kids names begin with McK, McKenzie and McKaleb. At the time this blog was created, I was single parenting because I was recently separated from my husband. As of October 2009, I am divorced, so I really am single parenting until God tells me if He wants me to have another partner.

Our family had a tumultuous 2007 which led to my separation from my husband. During the writing of this blog, I have often felt a sham because I only presented the good things that were going on. Many times I was an emotional wreck as I dealt with the issues facing my family. I don't wish to discuss the intimate details of the separation and subsequent divorce on this forum, however if you are my IRL friend, you probably already know. Let's just say that from the separation to the eventual divorce life wasn't pretty. Adjusting from my assumption that I was happily married to feeling like a part of me has been cut off and that I am supposed to function in society and as a single parent is brutal. I guess if you knew that your marriage sucked then the transition might have been easier. There were times when I was so lonely, I hurt. It was hard to reach out to form new relationships because the emotions were too raw to share.

Just to be clear, I did not want to divorce. I wanted work things out and see what God could do to restore us. I know that God allows things to happen for a reason and can use them for His purpose. If this happened to draw me closer to Him so that I could be more dependent on Him, it worked. It was a long hard road, but I know that I can trust Him even if I didn't get the answer I wished for my prayers. Don't let that fool you though. Although my faith is stronger, I still struggle. I am by no means perfect. It is unfortunate that I have not been in the Word daily and my prayer life is suffering right now (how many people that attend church actually admit such things?). I have been lulled into complacency by the lack of urgent need. If you ever needed more evidence of why He repeatedly has to cripple us to bring us to Him, I am an example. Although my sin my may not be obvious like addiction to drugs, or physical adultery, I am guilty of pride (among other things). Pride in myself that I can take care of it all without Him. Now that I am on a more even keel, I have allowed pride to creep back in and little by little I have leaned less on Him and more on my own understanding. However, realizing this, I have tried to get back to reading His Word daily so that I can understand and know Him more. I know that it takes three in order for a marriage to work, the husband, the wife and God as the center and that God hates divorce. We did not have Him in the center, although to most people looking in from the outside (and from my perspective) we appeared to be a happy family. Lesson – Happy appearances does not equal a home in God’s will.

I have learned a lot during the past couple of years about myself, my kids, my friends and my family. I am finally at a point where I can embrace the times that I have by myself. I have been able to use those times to reach out and make new friends, which has gone a long way to soothing my soul, especially when those new friends are brothers and sisters in Christ. We share an immediate bond that doesn’t exist between a Christian and a non-believer. I have found new friends in my church and have even met people that I didn’t know were members there. I have struggles that most parents have with my kids except I have to do it alone. I also have struggles that two parent households cannot understand. Hopefully the McKs and their single mom can make it through by leaning on God, family and friends. If you are my IRL family and friends, thank you for your support during the past couple of years. It has meant a lot to me even if I haven’t shown it to you in a tangible way. Thank you!!!

So now you have a randomized brief background that will help explain my future random musings on single parenthood.

Laura

Blog Makeover

It has been awhile since I have posted. Between the holidays, illnesses, the start of the semester at UT, starting grad school at C-N, applying for grad school at UT, rearranging rooms, moving furniture out, bringing furniture in, getting the house ready to sell and beginning to look at houses to move into, it has been a busy couple of months.

I still haven't decided on a theme for my blog makeover. I am considering the themes originally suggested, but I am also considering changing the theme of my blog from just about my kids and what we do (which is what I normally post) to what is really going on in my life as a single mom. I mean it is great to see what we have been doing, but wouldn't it be more interesting to know what is actually going on in our lives? I have considered blogging about some of the things that I face day to day, some of the emotions that I am experiencing, and the challenges of being a single parent. I know that I can't put everything that I feel on a blog because it is too public of a forum to express myself. I reserve the right to make myself fully known to only a few IRL friends, but I long for my blog friends to know the real me, not the person who puts a happy face on everything in a blog post.

So, I am going to makeover this blog in more ways than one. If you have any suggestions for a new them based on the information in this post, please send them my way. I am open to any suggestions you may have. Hopefully this change will allow me to feel like I have something more meaningful to contribute to the blog world than just fluff. Fluff is good and serves a purpose, but you need meat an potatoes to nurture yourself and relationships. So here's to the meat and potatoes of our relationship!

McKs Mom

blog makeover suggestions

So I have this blog makeover that I get to do. I am excited, but not sure what to do. I was thinking that I need a different title for my blog, but I am not sure where to start. So I am asking my blog and IRL friends for suggestions.

Here is one idea - Since Kaleb is a monkey and Kenzie is a princess at heart, how about "Monkeys and Crowns, One Enchanted Life" She could do the theme with pinks and blues and browns.

Or - Princes and Pop Stars, One Enchanted Life - I know I used the enchanted life on the last one, but Kaleb also loves that movie and pretends to be Prince Edward. Kenzie thinks that pop stars such as Hannah Montana and Jonas are wonderful. Definitely pink and blue theme with this one. but what about accessories? You know buttons and stuff?

So that is where I am. Keep in mind that I really want this to be a year round theme and that I love pink. So if you have suggestions, let me know.

Have a great week!

I won, I won!!!......but I am scared.

I am so excited! I won Rhonda Thompson Photography's free blog make-over. This is truly something that I would never purchase for myself.

Now for the scary part. Making all those decisions. I have no idea what to tell Adori Graphics that I want to have for my blog. Hopefully she will have some great ideas. Excited, but not hyperventilating about the choices ahead of me..........yet.

Thank you Rhonda!!! If I see you and I start to turn blue from lack of oxygen, well.... you'll know that you had something to do with that!! As short as I am, at least I might look like Smurfette if I am blue.

Pumpkin Patch time…..

Every year, I take the McKs to the Oakes Farm Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch.  Last year we went with her paternal cousins.  This year, I thought it would be nice to go with my cousins and their children.  We have never had an activity where all the great grandchildren went, so when everyone was able to come, it was quite an adventure.  The kids ranged in age from 3 to 13 years old.  The oldest being Megan and the youngest being Kaleb.

The kids seemed to have a great time together playing, and picking out their pumpkins.  Of the 7 kids that went, only 6 got pumpkins.  Here is the line up…..

from left to right

Layla (4, Aaron’s daughter), Kelly (7, Amy’s youngest), Sarah (12, Amy’s 2nd child), Katie (9, Amy’s third), McKenzie (6), McKaleb (3).

I also grabbed another pumpkin patch attender to get her to take a family photo of everyone who was there.  Thanks to the anonymous photographer.

Below are a few of my favorites….

Since we had so much fun, I am trying to plan another activity for December.  It must be cheap, since there are so many of us, and provide great photo opportunities.  Any suggestions?

Fight for Wyatt

Below is a little bit about Wyatt, the little man that had 2 minutes on earth, that God is going to allow to change hearts.

"We picked out the name Wyatt because we liked it's meaning... It means "Little Warrior". Little did we know at the time, but we picked a VERY appropriate name for our youngest son. Wyatt was diagnosed with a fatal condition just 18 weeks into our pregnancy with him. We were told there was little to no chance of seeing our son alive... We waited to meet him in love knowing the pregnancy was all we would get with him. Wyatt fought his way into the world against all odds, and breathed the same air as we did for 2 minutes. We are so proud of Wyatt, our little warrior... We love and miss him dearly. To read from the beginning of our journey, simply click here"

Here is the problem. Wyatt's parents called to get his birth certificate. The state of TN does not recognize his 2 minutes of life as a live birth. The Finchum family has started a petition to get the law changed so that no one else has to be told that there is not a birth certificate for their child, just a death certificate. Please click on the link on my sidebar to take you to their petition. It explains a much better what the language would need to be for a birth certificate to be issued for someone like Wyatt.

The family needs at least 1000 signatures to get this legislation change started. Signatures must be from Tennessee Residents. Please pass along the information to every resident you know so that they can decide to sign the petition for this change.

You can get more information on Wyatt's story and the progress towards the legislation change at http://wyattnathaniel.blogspot.com/.

Responsibility

Responsibility is such a hard thing to learn and teach.  I am working on teaching my little ones how to be responsible for their actions and that every thing that they do has a consequence, good or bad.  I am not sure how as a society we can teach our children responsibility when as a society we do not want to take responsibility for our actions. 

This thought comes to me as I have been trying to help someone at work.  I did not create the program that the person is in, nor did I create the problem, but I am trying to help this person to the best of my ability.  The person who created the program and who is the logical choice to make sure the people in this program are taken care of feels no responsibility in this area.  This person has created a burdensome program that does not fit the typical criteria and has left the customer dangling in the breeze to try and fend for themselves and maneuver through the bureaucratic red tape of many departments to achieve the desired result.  Now I am faced with trying to muddle through the mess she created and try to help the student (s) achieve their goals. 

I am almost tempted to request to be the point person in my office for these students and guide them through the process so that we do not have further snafus due to the vacancy of responsibility by the creator of the program.  Should I or should I not?  How responsible do I feel?  Is it even my problem?  Isn’t it my job to help the customer?  Isn’t it the program creator's job to help her customer?  All these thoughts are running through my head when I talked with the program creator.  I was told that if the student didn’t do things correctly, it wasn’t the problem of the program creator – never mind that there are no clear steps to follow.  So here I am trying to help my customer, who my job depends on, satisfy their wants, while muddling through the lack of structure myself.  Granted the program creator is probably getting the big bucks for the idea that once created is abandoned to let someone else figure out the details of how to pay to achieve the goal.  What to do, what to do?

And is it even my responsibility?  What do you think?  What would you do?